Introducing Amnesty 2.0 – New iOS Does It All, and It’s FREE!

Amnesty 2.0Jim Gilchrist, MMP Exclusive — Amnesty 2.0 — The long-anticipated “immigration operating system” — is still in development, but that hasn’t stopped media pundits from sputtering with excitement over the projected benefits of the new iOS.

The package not only addresses the bugs found in Ronald Reagan’s crash-prone Amnesty 1.0, it includes the most requested productivity features that promise to heal our ailing Nation in many profound ways…

  • Kick start the economy
  • Promote entrepreneurship
  • Create jobs
  • Bring people out of the shadows
  • Increase consumer spending
  • Expand the tax base
  • Beef up our armed forces
  • Save Social Security
  • Keep families together
  • Eliminate fear

And that’s not all… The new iOS comes without any cost. Congress intends to just give it away!

Since the announcement of Amnesty 2.0, a Walmart-style stampede has broken out among Democrats and Republicans in a race to get their hands on a beta copy of the iOS, so they can try it out on voters back home.

While the immigration industry praises Amnesty 2.0 as “brilliant”, the news is not all good…

Despite glowing reports about Amnesty 2.0, skepticism is building among the younger “we want it all now” crowd who contend that things aren’t quite what they seem with the new iOS. Many of these rowdies wonder out loud if Congress is holding something back.

After all, if amnesty for 11 million people provides so many wonderful benefits at no cost, why not extend citizenship to 22 million people so we can enjoy these benefits in half the time? Or to 44 million, so we can enjoy virtually instant gratification? Heck, why have borders at all?

Congress will not cave in to such base concerns, of course. Our leaders are thinking of a more sensible approach.

Borrowing a page from the tech sector, Amnesty 2.0 is a calculated response intended to sustain the growing market for U.S. citizenship over the long term.

Smartphone makers, for instance, do not equip their products with every conceivable feature. Doing that would dry up future demand. By dishing out features piecemeal, they can keep customers in a state of dependency and continually craving more.

So extending citizenship to 22 million people will have to wait for Amnesty 3.0.

Meanwhile, immediate market demand will be satiated until the next 11 million illegal immigrants arrive here and see an opportunity to assert themselves. By then developers of the iOS will not have much work to do because Amnesty 2.0 has been designed with scalability in mind. Future debates will hinge on what shrink-wrap to use.